Once upon a time in a far far away land
by NejiHina100
Summary: The Dark One and his maid travel to Far Far Away for a deal. Along the way, Belle gets her adventure and Rumplestiltskin learns that even a beast can have a happily ever after. Rumbelle
1. We are going far far away

**Summary:** The Dark One and his maid travel to Far Far Away for a deal. Along the way, Belle gets her adventure and Rumplestiltskin learns that even a beast can have a happily ever after.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OUAT or Shrek or any other characters in this story.

**A/N:** I will intended to complete Beauty Bound, promise. However, I felt that I needed a little refresher from the dark and dreary so I decided to do a funny story to bring some laughter to myself. Both Shrek and Rumple are hilarious, combining them is asking for awesome fun. :) This takes place after Shrek and Fiona arrive to the castle and the king calls upon the Dark One for help instead of Puss. Though I hope that cute little cat will show up in the story somewhere.

* * *

It was an ordinary day in the Dark One's castle, or as ordinary as it usually got with a mischievous imp and a too-curious-for-her-own-good maid. Rumple was currently working in his lab with a love potion some peasant had called upon to him to make. It was a story he had heard plenty of times before in his 300 years. A girl was hopelessly in love with a man who didn't notice her and she wanted him to fall in love with her, so she called upon the Dark One to create a potion that would allow the man to fall head over heels for her. It was a very simple potion to create and one that he had put together countless times before. He sighed as he got up to get the last ingredient from the cupboard and place the herb leaves into the vial, finishing the potion. Over the years, he had gotten rather sick of creating the potion, but it was getting quicker to finish the more he made it. He didn't like the idea of falling in love with someone under false pretenses but if the peasants wanted to ruin their life with magic, then he would play the part they wanted him to.

THUD!

His thoughts were interrupted when a dove flew into the window. Rumple rolled his eyes at the stupidity the bird's small brain gave him. He walked over to open the window to allow the bird into the room. The bird flew in, rather wobbly because of the concussion he probably obtained from the window, and landed onto Rumple's work table. He plucked the envelope from the bird's beak and tore it open. He pulled out a folded sheet of paper and scanned the letter.

Apparently, the king of Far Far Away wanted his help with a problem about his daughter. The princess had arrived back home with her new husband, an ogre. Rumple was quite startled from this fact. How could a princess ever marry an ogre, a beast? He never heard of it. He was rather curious to meet this princess, to see what would possess her to love a beast. She must be quite an odd woman. Speaking of odd women, his maid suddenly walked into his lab, carrying a tray of tea.

"Hey, I know you have been working in here all day and I thought you could use a break." Belle said, placing the tray on the table.

"Oh, well, thank you." He said, watching as she poured the tea into the chipped porcelain cup.

"So how is the potion coming along?"

"Very well. In fact, it is done." He replied.

"That's great. Uh, what's in the letter you're holding?" She asked, handing him the cup, smiling as he took it in his hand and noticing how his fingers lightly brushed against hers.

"Always curious aren't you." She chuckled. "It's a request, from a king."

"A king? Are they needing your help saving their village? If so, I don't need help with the castle in case you're looking for another maid." They both laughed at her joke.

"No, dearie, one devious maid is enough for me to handle, I don't need another." He smiled.

"Devious? Well." Rumple loved how she could easily laugh at his quips, wondering how she could be so relaxed living in a castle with a beast. With that thought, his attention was brought back to the letter, remembering Belle's question about it.

"No, the king is needing my help with his daughter. She apparently had married a beast and he wants some help solving the issue."

"A beast?"

"Yes, an ogre." Rumple saw Belle's eyes widen at the fact, knowing what was going on in her head. "No need to worry, love, I doubt it is one of the ogres in the war, possible one of its smaller cousins." He explained.

"Oh."

"In fact, we are headed there." He stated.

"Really? Where is it?" She asked.

"Far Far Away."

"How far is it?" Belle smiled at Rumple, they both laughed at the wit of the question. "I've heard of it before in Avonlea. We never traveled there before but I have heard about the princess. She was cursed, right?"

"I'm not sure really. I've heard of the kingdom before too but never had to deal with it before. I do not know of the situation. That's why we are traveling there to see what deal I can make." Rumple explained, taking a sip of the tea.

"Why am I coming? Can't you just pop in and out as usual?"

"Well, it is far far away love so I am sure that I will be gone for a few days. I can't really leave my devious maid on her own in the castle and have plenty of days to cause some trouble." Belle smiled at him, noting how he had called her 'love' twice already.

"When do we leave?"

"While I drop off this potion, you can pack and we will leave when I get back. I will send a note to inform the king we are arriving."

"Very well. Good luck." Rumple smiled, noting the familiar flutter in his stomach every time she wished him luck before he set off. _Why does that always happen? Can't my nerves leave me alone?_

He watched as his maid left the room, leaving him to write the letter to the king. Neither could imagine what this trip would bring them.

* * *

King Harold was going over some royal papers concerning the kingdom. It was a normal job for the king but it didn't mean he liked any part of it. Sure he liked the attention, the luxury, but who in all the kingdoms liked paperwork? His head suddenly jerked up when a loud thud were heard on the window. He sighed and thought that is was about time that he got a dove that didn't suffer from constant head concussions from flying into windows. He took the letter that was held in the dove's beak, holding his breath as he opened the envelope.

Scanning the words, he let go of his breath, realizing that it was a response from the Dark One. He and his maid was headed to the kingdom and would arrive in a few short days. The king was relieved to see that the Dark One had responded to his plea, praying that the sorcerer had a solution to the issue his daughter brought home.

He had heard about the Dark One before and knew how notorious he was for making deals. The issue was the price. Whenever you heard of the Dark One and his deals, you could almost always hear of someone not being able to pay the price and suffering a terrible fate. Something about being turned into a small bug that was easily squashed. Harold swallowed hard, hoping he would find a way around making a deal with the notorious sorcerer.

"Harold?" The king looked to the door and saw his wife. He wasn't really ready to face his wife, knowing she would complain to him about his behavior at dinner yesterday.

"What is it?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The letter. What is in the letter?" She asked.

"Oh, it's not much Lillian. Just a response from someone. He is going to be coming to the ball." He explained.

"That's great. I do hope you at least try to get along with our daughter's new husband. If you gave him a chance like she did, perhaps you will see that he is rather kind."

"Kind? He's an ogre. A beast. How can he be kind?"

"Well, you can't judge someone until you meet them." Harold knew that his wife was right. He remembered his past and what he went through for her. He just hoped she never found out.

"Yes, well I suppose so."

"So this visitor, who is he?" He groaned, really hoping she wouldn't ask.

"Um, a sorcerer."

"A sorcerer? Why is a sorcerer coming to the ball?" She asked, wondering if her husband was up to something.

"Well you know dear, it is very good business to have many important people here. I'm sure we can benefit from this." The queen knew she wasn't going to get the real reason so she decided to accept his explanation.

"Very well, I suppose you are right."

"Aren't I always?" He teased. He smiled as his wife kissed him before leaving him to finish the paperwork. He sat back down and sighed, hoping that the Dark One showing up in their kingdom wouldn't bring any trouble. However, he had a feeling that the real trouble would come from his daughter's new husband. He wondered how a beast can love anyone and how anyone could ever love a beast.

* * *

**Please review and feel free to give any ideas of what you would like to read. :)**


	2. Are we there yet?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OUAT or Shrek or any other characters in this story.

* * *

"Have you finished packing Belle?"

"Yes. Are we leaving soon?"

"Yes. The carriage is waiting outside." He said. Rumple looked down at the small bag that Belle was carrying. He felt a little bad that she didn't have much with her. She only had the gold dress she arrived with and the few dresses that he created for her. He thought that perhaps he should allow her to shop for more clothing while they were in the kingdom. He had once heard how they had plenty of shops in the Far Far Away land.

"Carriage? Aren't we arriving there by magic?" She asked.

"No. I don't think you are ready to travel by magic. It is very risky for beginners. I rather play it safe and travel by carriage. The only magic we will use is for the horse. It will know where to go without a rider, and don't worry, the horse won't be hurt." He explained.

"I must say, I'm surprised Rumplestiltskin. Caring about your maid and horse." She teased him. He led her outside and helped her into the carriage. Once she was settled into the carriage, he placed their bags into the back. He then placed the spell onto the horse so it would take them to the kingdom and got into the carriage.

"I was thinking, while we are there, you would enjoy shopping in the shops for some more clothing?" He said, halfway asking if she would enjoy it. He felt his heart nearly skip a beat when he saw her smile.

"Really? That sounds great. So what deal do you plan to make while we are there?"

"Well I'm not sure just yet. I'll have to see what the full situation is. The king didn't really give much information in his letter. Just that his daughter married a beast and he wanted some help...getting rid of it. Nothing else."

"Oh. Why would he want that? Doesn't his daughter love the man?" Belle asked, feeling very sorry for the girl.

"Beast," he corrected her, "and I don't know Belle. She did marry an ogre after all."

"Love is love, Rumple. It doesn't matter who it is with. If the princess loves him, then her father should let them be."

"You don't seem to be shocked that a young _princess_ has married an ogre, a _beast_." He said.

"You're not a beast." She said, smiling at him. Rumple's eyes widened, not believing what he just heard.

"I wasn't talking about me!" He cried in defense.

"You didn't have to." She replied. "So, exactly how far is Far Far Away?"

"Two days. However, I am using magic to get us there faster so we should arrive by tomorrow morning." He answered.

"Perfect. We have all day to talk." The Dark One had to control himself to not gawk at his maid. He did however glare at her before leaning back in his seat as he huffed in defeat, ignoring how Belle's eyes were beaming at him with victory. He had a feeling that this was going to be a very long trip.

* * *

It was the second day Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey were in Far Far Away and it wasn't any better than yesterday. It was almost noon and Donkey had already managed to track mud into the castle halls, causing the King to slip, and Shrek had broken a door, yanking it open too hard. The King was constantly holding his breath and counting to ten, hoping to keep himself calm for everyone's sake. Despite what had happened to her, he loved having his daughter back home and he didn't want to get into another fight with his wife. He might be the one to wear the king's crown, but the _queen_ always had the final word. If she told him to behave, he would.

He kept reminding himself of the letter he received this morning that told him the Dark One would arrive in a few days, hoping he would have a solution for the ogre problem. Fiona had told him that Shrek broke her curse but he couldn't help and wonder why she didn't turn back into a human. He tried to recall the curse that was placed on her when she was a child and remember something about 'True Love's form'. That meant that Fiona and Shrek were True Loves and that was why she was an ogre instead of a human.

Harold had to sit himself down on the patio bench, forcing himself to keep calm. He didn't understand why he was so upset about this. He should easily be able to accept his daughter's fate and future, after all, he didn't have much of a different story than hers.

"Father?"

The King looked up to see Fiona standing in front of him, holding her new dog in her big green hands.

"Listen, dear-"

"Father, please. I know you are upset with what has happened but I would love it very much if you just accepted Shrek. I'm not even asking you to be happy about it." Fiona said.

"I know, but it's not easy. Look at what he has done to you." He exclaimed.

"I love Shrek for who he is and he loves me. Isn't that what matters?"

"Well yes, but-"

"But what is the issue?" She asked. Harold really didn't like how this was going. He remembered what Lillian had told him earlier this morning, about getting to know the beast, or man he corrected himself.

"I suppose, I could get to know him a little first before I fully judge him." He replied in a beaten tone of voice.

"Thank you Father." Fiona smiled, hugging her father gently before walking off. The King got up and walked back into the castle to deal with other royal issues, praying the Dark One would get here soon.

* * *

Rumple really had to use his self-control to prevent himself from groaning aloud. It wasn't that his maid was talking too much, no, he liked hearing her talk. She had a beautiful voice. He listened as she talked about what she had read in the books from the library he gave her. What was bothering the great and all powerful Dark One was that his maid was practically talking to him like a child. Going on about how he wasn't a beast, he should love himself a little more, and how love can happen to anyone, no matter what the circumstances were. He knew that his maid was smart, but he often felt that she was very naive when it came to love. Rumplestiltskin was beginning to think that he should take the library away from her, wondering if those books were filling her head with impossible dreams.

"Are you listening?" She asked. He turned his head from the window and looked at her, his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"Oh I'm listening love." Belle stared how the sorcerer with her own smirk.

"Why do you believe that a beast cannot find love?"

"So you are admitting that the ogre is a beast?" He asked, wondering if he won this little argument.

"I'm not saying that, but you seem so certain that the husband of the princess is a beast-"

"He is an ogre Belle. They are natural beasts. I believe I recall your father even saying that they were not men, correct?"

Belle thought back to the first day she saw the Dark One and recalled her father's words when they received word of Avonlea's fall on the battlefield.

"You know, my father called you a monster and he was wrong. I think you are wrong about this man too." She smiled.

"You wanna bet?" He teased her, hoping to get something good out of this ridiculous argument. "I bet you that the husband _is_ a beast, ogre and all. If I win, you must stay away from the library for a week as your price." He gave his maid his impish giggle, wondering if she would go ahead and surrender the fight if she knew that her library was at stake. He was shocked to see her smile back at him with that devious look again.

"Fine. I bet that, ogre or not, the husband is just like you. A misunderstood man who loves his wife. If _I_ win, you must not call yourself a 'beast' for a whole week. Fair enough?"

The sorcerer stared at Belle for a few seconds before smiling and holding out his hand. She smiled back and shook on the bet. This was definitely going to be an interesting trip. They looked out the window at the snow covered trees, both now excited for tomorrow morning.

* * *

The ball was in a few more days and Shrek was really getting nervous. He really didn't want to go but he knew that this would make Fiona happy. He had gotten in an argument with her on the first night here and he felt guilty afterwards. All he wanted was for her to be happy and if it meant that he had to sacrifice everything for her, very well. He loved Fiona very much but he was an ogre. He had been an ogre his entire life and it was a very hard habit to break. If their first fight wasn't bad enough, to make matters worse, the King definitely hated him. Not that Shrek believed he would get any sort of blessing. Even as they were walking up the aisle when they first arrived, the villagers already had their pitchforks and bricks ready. Shrek wondered if they always carried them around for spontaneous mobbing.

Shrek hated being on the castle grounds. He hated how all the humans stared at him as he walked by. He didn't really understand what they were so shocked about. They lived in a land where there were fairytale creatures everywhere. Heck, a _fairy_ godmother was a celebrity here, why would they be so shocked to see an ogre? Oh yeah, because ogres were beast that ate the humans and this particular ogre that was walking around town turned their princess into one forever. They probably thought that he was going to eat her bones and spread her insides on bread for a snack. If he wanted to do that, he would have, not marry her.

The more he was around them, the more he hated them. Hated how they quickly judge him before they knew him. He might be an ogre but he still had a heart and it would hurt, hurt every time someone screamed at him or ran away from him, but it didn't matter anymore. He had gotten use to it over the years. The only thing that mattered to him was being alone. Being alone from the world was _all_ that mattered. At least, until he found Donkey and Fiona. Despite how so freaking annoying Donkey could be, Shrek never had a more loyal friend who didn't see him as some big scary monster but as someone who saved his life, and really tall. And Fiona. Shrek would never understand how she could like him, let alone love him. Sure, she was upset at the fact that he was an ogre when he first saved her, but now he understood why. She didn't understand how _he_ could love her in her cursed form, but he did. He loved everything about her and would do anything for her, even suffer through a ball. He tried to leave the first night but it didn't work. Now, he would try his best to suck it up and get through this. It wasn't like they were going to be here forever, right?

* * *

**I loved Rumple and Belle's little bet. Please review. :)**


	3. Be our guest

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OUAT or Shrek or any other characters in this story.

* * *

Fiona wasn't sure what to expect today. Shrek had come back yesterday from a walk around the castle, grumbling about the humans and other nonsense. It was the third day and things were getting a little better. A little. At least her father and Shrek didn't get into another argument before noon. It might have had to do with the fact that they didn't even risk talking to each other, knowing it wouldn't end well. Her parents focused on getting the ball ready for the next few days and she was focused on making sure Shrek was on his best behavior.

"-for five minutes!" It wasn't going well. She could hear Shrek yelling at Donkey in the hallway. She wondered why they brought him but she knew that if they left him back home, he would probably wreck the place out of boredom or worse, put together a karaoke party. Besides, they couldn't stop him from coming with them even if they wanted to.

Before she could try and intervene in Shrek and Donkey's screaming match, she heard a royal guard come into the room. Her father who was sitting next to her looked up from his book.

"Yes?"

"Your majesty," the guard spoke. "There is a visitor here."

Before the guard could continue, the king stood up and hurried outside before the queen and his daughter could follow him. Once he stepped outside, he saw the sorcerer stepping out of the carriage that seemed to be driven without a rider. The king had to control himself from gaping, not expecting the man to be, well, green. _Great, another green beast. Maybe I should have thought about this a little more,_ the king thought.

What shocked him even more wasn't the sparkly skin or the reptile eyes, but rather the young maiden following behind him. The Dark One did inform him that 'they' would arrive. Harold just didn't really expect a young women such as this beauty to be in business with him. He didn't want to think too much about it, he had his own problem he had to deal with first.

"Ah, Mr. Dark One, thank you for coming" The king said.

"Thank you and you can call me Rumplestiltskin. This is Belle." The sorcerer said, pointing towards Beauty. "I believe you said this was an 'urgent' matter of some kind?"

"Yes, uh, perhaps we should take this somewhere more quiet?" Harold asked.

Before the Dark One could reply, Harold nearly groaned as they were interrupted by the Queen who was walking down the steps.

"Harold? Is this our new visitor?" The Queen asked, doing well to hide her shock of the new visitor's appearance.

"Yes dear. This is..."

"Rumplestiltskin at your service, and this is Belle." The sorcerer introduced himself and his maid.

"Oh, well I'm glad you could come. You are just in time." Lillian smiled.

"In time?"

"Yes. We are holding a ball for our daughter's marriage."

At the mention of the princess, Belle and Rumple's ears perked up, both curious to meet the princess and her husband.

"Ah yes. You mention-"

"How about we talk about this inside, hm?" The king interrupted. Harold felt rather nervous under the gaze of the Dark One but he remained his regal form, knowing he couldn't afford to be weak in front of him. After all, his daughter was turned into an ogre. Surely dealing with the Dark One wouldn't be as bad.

After a few short nods, the four people walked up the stairs into the castle. No one knew what to expect and none of them felt that they were ready.

* * *

The king and queen led the two new guests into the castle, heading to the study where their daughter was waiting for them. When they entered, Belle did her best to hide the visible shock at the appearance and wondered if this was how people who met Rumple for the first time felt. From the look of Rumple's face, it was clear that he knew what to expect but Belle didn't think that the princess would be...well, big. Rumple had told her plenty of times that the princess and her husband were ogres but Belle didn't really prepare herself for the size. Than she remembered how he said that the ogres were probably distant cousins of the ones back home. Belle didn't really pay much mind to the green skin, having lived with Rumple all this time, she was rather use to it and didn't even notice it anymore.

"Hi. Who is this?" Fiona asked her parents.

"Dear, this is Rumplestiltskin and Belle. They will be here for a few days." Harold informed.

Just as Belle was shocked at the princess' appearance, Fiona was shocked at Rumplestiltskin's. It wasn't out of fear of the reptile eyes or the sparkly green skin, it was out of shock that they were other people out there who were also green and different. She thought Shrek would be happy to meet them.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you." Fiona said, holding out her huge hand to shake theirs. She was very pleased that the women, Belle, took her hand and didn't cower in fear. The man however simply looked at her with squinted eyes.

"So you are Princess Fiona." He smiled. "I must say, you are not as...peculiar, as I expected." Rumple winced as Belle punished him for his remark by slapping him on his arm. Before he could think of a punishment for his maid, he looked at her and remembered their bet in the carriage.

"Where is your husband?" He asked.

"Well, he's around. In fact, I will go and get him." She said, leaving her parents to deal with the new guests.

When they saw the princess leave, Belle leaned over to whisper in Rumple's ear. "Be nice. Remember, we are the guest here." She then looked over to the king and queen. "So tell us, when is this ball you are holding?"

"It will be in a few days and we would appreciate it if you two joined us." Lillian smiled.

"We shouldn't be here long. I just came here for some business and once I settle it, I will leave." The Dark One said.

"What business exactly are you here for?"

Before Rumple could respond and before the king could interrupt, the doors opened and the princess walked in with another green ogre, slightly bigger, walking behind her. Belle saw that he looked rather peeved to be here. She smiled as it reminded her of someone.

"Rumplestiltskin, Belle, I would like you to meet my husband, Shrek." Fiona smiled.

When their eyes laid on the husband, Belle ignored the cocky expression on her master's face as he looked at her. She only smiled back, knowing the bet wasn't over yet, not by a long shot.

"It is nice to meet you Shrek." Belle smiled, holding out her hand.

Shrek looked down on the hand the women offered, curious to why she wasn't cowering in fear and disgust like everyone else. Not wanting to hurt the girl, he politely declined her hand, awkwardly smiling. He then noticed the thing behind her.

"Who the heck are you?" Shrek asked, pointing towards the Dark One.

"Shrek! Be nice." Fiona scolded.

"What?! I was just asking."

"These are our guest. They will be attending the ball." The queen informed.

"What? No we won't. I've already told you-"

"We will love to stay." Belle interrupted.

"We are not staying Belle."

"Yes we are."

"No we are not."

"Yes we are."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because, you didn't win just yet." Belle said, smiling proudly.

Rumple stood with his mouth slightly gaping open, ready to rebuttal his maid's response. He looked towards the royals and noticed their confused looks. He looked back at Belle, smiling.

"Fine. We will stay. But _only_ for one week."

"That's great. I hope you enjoy your stay." The queen said.

"Oh, I'm sure we will." Rumple smiled. _Maybe this could be fun after all_, he thought.

* * *

The king and queen had a few guards lead Rumplestiltskin and his maid to their rooms in the castle. Before Belle could decline their kind offer, Lillian stated that since they were here visiting at Harold' request, they would be treated with royal hospitality.

They were both surprised at the hospitality. The only issue they had was that before they could inform the king and queen on anything, they were lead to their room. Emphasizes on _'their'_.

Rumple took in a deep breath and let out a sigh as the door closed behind them, their bags on the floor. He finally decided that this was going to be a horrible week.

"At least there are two beds." Belle smiled, slight nervous about the living arrangements. Living in the same castle with her master was one thing, sleeping in the same room was another.

"I'm sure it would be perfectly fine if you told them that you want two different rooms." Rumple said.

"No, it's okay. Really. Besides, it's only one week. I'm sure that we will be gone before you know it." She said, carrying her bag to one of the beds.

"Wait, why do you get that bed?"

Belle looked around the room. The beds were next to each other on one side of the room. There were double french doors on both sides of the room, one leading to the hall and the other to the balcony. On the far side of the room was the fireplace. Belle saw that the bed she unconsciously picked was the one closest to the balcony.

"Do you want this one?"

"Maybe."

"Than take it." Belle smiled.

"No, you can have it."

"You just said-"

"It's okay Belle, really. I was just joking."

Belle smiled at him. Before she could realize, Rumple used his magic to unpack their bags and get everything settled in the room.

"Although I agree that magic can be useful, maybe you should use less of it."

"What?! That wasn't part of the deal!" Rumple cried.

"I'm just saying that you don't know what you might need it for. After all, this isn't really your Dark Castle. Who knows what we will run into."

"If we run into any trouble, I have plenty of magic to protect us."

Belle smiled at Rumple before headed towards the balcony. Rumple watched his maid open the doors and step outside into the air. It was afternoon already and the sun was at its high point. He suddenly remembered what he had told her during their ride, knowing that this kingdom had plenty of shops for her to enjoy.

"I believe I remember telling you that you were free to shop while you were here. Why don't you head into town and shop while I talk to the king in private." Rumple said, conjuring up a big bag of coins for her to use.

"Thank you." Belle smiled, taking the money. "Try to be nice to the king. He seemed very nervous already."

"No guarantees dear. I am the Dark One after all." He sneered, watching his maid leave into town.

Rumple took a moment to grasp hold of the situation. Here he was in Far Far Away, with his maid, sharing one room for a whole week, and a ball to attend to. Also, he had to talk to the king about business, still not knowing what the king wanted his help with. With his maid and their bet, and the king and the ogres, Rumple wasn't sure if this was a vacation or business.

* * *

**I just loved how Rumple and Belle had a lover's quarrel in front of the others. They were totally acting like a married couple. :) It was my favorite part of the chapter. Also, I can't wait to see how they deal with staying in the same room. I just love torturing my OTP. :) :) :)**


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